people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
