you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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