You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
