i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
