im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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