my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just made my gag reflex go away.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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