And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
