I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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