Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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