I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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