The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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