Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
