their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
