Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
