even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
