I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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