what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
