i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
