You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
