he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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