Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You dont lie about slip and slides
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
