yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
