i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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