I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
