come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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