So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
