New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
