I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
