i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
