your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize