We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
