His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
