well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
