Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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