i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
