I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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