shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize