Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
