I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
