Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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