I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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