hell yes lets make some ravioli
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
