i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
