Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
