the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
