just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
