Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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