I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
