Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
