he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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