God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
