The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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