just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
