Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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