literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
