My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
where does the pee come out of this thing
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
