Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
