that's an acceptable place to lick
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
