somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
