so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
