you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
