Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
