Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
